“Oh, come on! Come with us―it’ll be fun,” Lena prodded.  She looked in the mirror and smacked her crimson lips together, then pushed them into a pout.  I looked away, scanning the room for any distraction.  At last I caught sight of my binder, full of lesson plans.

“I’m sorry, but I really shouldn’t,” I replied waveringly. “I have…too many lesson plans to prepare.  For my lessons. That aren’t…done yet.”  I trailed off, and began to flip through my binder.  I could feel Lana watching me, but she didn’t say a word.  Then, she stood up and as she left the room, called back,

“Suit yourself―though it really would have been fun!”

Sadly, this was not the only occasion that I turned down an opportunity to socialize in Prague.  The reason, simply enough: fear.  The thought of going to dinner with an entire crowd of Czechs, whose words would dart around my head like hummingbirds, sent chills down my spine.  Even going to the store was foreboding, as I was still traumatized by the cashier’s scolding for not having correct change.  I hardly ever used change in America! Who ever counted pennies to pay?  Soon, my fear of making a mistake felt like paralysis.  Until I  began to embrace the fear I felt at new experiences, I could not take one step forward.

In retrospect, I realize that I could have overcome this fear.  I would have continued to encounter nerve-wracking situations in my new home, but at least  I could have  reacted to them differently.  If you find yourself in a similar situation, try these steps, to start:

• Write down three situations that are intimidating or frightening to you (perhaps building off of my own examples)
• Pick one of these situations and try it again.  Go back to the coffee shop and speak to the barista, or return to class and talk to the student sitting next to you.  Force yourself to follow through!
• Worried about making that famous American small-talk?  Remember these conversation openers:
  • “What great/awful weather today, huh?”
  • “Did you do/like/dislike the reading we had to do?” (for students)
  • “Did you hear about…?” (refer to a recent event most will have knowledge about)
  • “Do you know____________?” (make a connection with a mutual acquaintance)
  • “Do you always get the same drink?” (coffee shop introduction)
  • “I like your t-shirt/sweater/shoes, etc.  Where did you get them?” (generally for women)

Of course, you can always begin with:

“Hi, how are you doing?”

Any more ideas on how to get the conversation started? Share them here!